That's a Wrap...Top 5's
This past Friday was the last day of school and this coming Friday I will embark on my longer than usual journey home with a pit stop for a couple weeks in Europe and then California then its back home for a month!
As my 2nd year in Thailand comes to a close, I can't help but look back on everything I've learned this year and all the good and hard times! It has been a whirlwind journey but I am so thankful for all of it! Here are my top 5 for this year!
The top 5 lessons I've learned this year:
1. Just because its God's plan doesn't mean it will feel good.
These past two years have been two of the hardest years of my life. I didn't expect to be challenged the way that I have or feel the way I have felt at times while walking the path I know is what I am supposed to be walking. But the person I have become during this season is one that has been refined by fire and i hope because of it all I can shine brighter.
2. Comparison really does steal your joy.
For me, my job here is very different from pretty much everyone else. I don't interact with students every day, I don't talk about school all the time, Im not a teacher...but they all are. When I find myself comparing what they do everyday and what I do I find that its easy to feel less than. I sub for their classes whether they are sick or just didn't want to come, I have to teach lesson plans someone else wrote that make no sense to me because Im not in the class everyday, no one covers my job when i'm subbing, I just end up with a pile of work that overwhelms me. No one really understands me, no one else does what I do, but that doesn't make my job less meaningful in the slightest. But it sure is easy to compare and on hard days i get down in the dumps and forget that my path is unique but not less significant because I find myself looking over in someone else's lane! Keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus really does make all the difference in my attitude.
3. Everyone feels alone at times.
This is a big one this year for me. Seriously I've felt very alone most of the time this year. But I have realized when I start to wallow in it I begin to believe I am the only one that feels that way. But I also have realized the lies I've been entangled in come undone when i start to open up to someone else about how i am feeling and most of the time they have felt the same way at times. Satan tries to convince me I'm all alone, which makes me want to just be alone but in reality when I get up enough courage to invite someone into my life it frees up the lies and I can live in freedom from the depth of my loneliness!
4. I'm still not a teacher.
I tried it out this year, it was hard and I only had four students. I'd rather find myself teaching a group of students about Jesus over coffee and conversation than leading a class discussion on elements of photography, or grading projects. I found myself just wanting to know about my students lives and making them feel comfortable talking to me than making sure they understood everything logistically i was teaching. I still love these kids with all my heart you just won't find me lecturing anytime soon! haha
5. Jesus really is enough.
When Jesus is all you have, you realize that he really is enough! Ok this one has really hit home for me this year. At times I feel as though Jesus is all I have and I start to be a little mad that God seems to be taking away all the things that are important to me. I have felt so sad that I don't have a constant companion, or a "person" here, and I think about all that I am missing out on and then I sit down to read the word and God gently reminds me that he really is enough. I don't need any of the things I think I do, Jesus really does fill all the gaps, he really does love me more than anyone else can, he really is always there...what more do I need when I finally hold on to that?
I am so thankful that I live a life that has natural "seasons"....and I'm excited that this season, chapter whatever you want to call it, is coming to a close and I am excited for the next one but first I am so ready for some vacation, some good quality time with all my people, my family, Christian chicken, camp and the good ol' american luxuries!
Bring it on summer 2017, see you soon!