A Month On The Other Side
It’s almost been a month since I’ve been back in America and you may have noticed I’ve been kind of silent...because to be honest life has been weird and hard, and I’m still trying to figure out how and where I belong. You may or may not know...but I’m now in Anderson, SC and I’m calling this place home, I’m putting down roots for this season, I’m settling in. I’ve been processing so much lately and also not...trying not to spend too much time in my head, luckily I’ve been surrounded with good friends and the busy season of camp life which is keeping me sane!
Things may not be the way anyone thought they would be, including me, and reverse culture shock is real, but that doesn’t change the fact that I know the Lord has called me here and this is where I’m supposed to be in this season.
It’s been weird, but I’m learning how to sit in this season and embrace every aspect of it even if it’s hard or confusing and I keep telling myself it’s ok that I don’t have a job or my own place yet....but if I’m really honest it kinda just feels like I’m failing. Sometimes it easier to think well maybe this isn’t where I’m supposed to be and take off for a bigger adventure, somewhere cooler, with less history and newer beginnings...but I know I’m called to stay. I’m called to invest and be HERE, I know God is going to show up, He’s going to do things in my life that I never imagined just like He did in my last season while I was in Thailand. Choosing to stay is hard, but it’s worth it.
As I choose to stay...and really sit in it...I’ve been learning that this is what Jesus does. We push him away, we live our lives like we don’t really care about him...but He stays. He doesn’t leave us when things are looking dim, he doesn’t run off and give up on us, he doesn’t push us out when it’s uncomfortable...so that’s what I want to do. I want to be more like Jesus right now in my life that means I’m gonna choose to stay when it’s hard and to keep loving when it’s uncomfortable. I’m choosing stay and to be present in this season I’m in, even if that means I don’t have cool insta stories or photos to share...because sometimes real life doesn’t look all that fun from the outside...but it’s still a life worth loving!