Trusting Jesus Is The Greatest Adventure

So I have some news. 2018 is bringing some changes with it and its bittersweet to announce that my life in Thai season is coming to an end. I knew this was coming one day, but it is much earlier than I thought. I've decided that in May, when the school year ends, I won't be signing another contract...I'll be heading back to America with a one way ticket. I'm moving back!

From the first year year, I always said that I didn't want to STAY BECAUSE ITS EASY OR LEAVE BECAUSE ITS HARD. I saw people do both and I could see them lose their passion right before me and I did not want to do that. I never wanted to lose sight of my purpose or let it get all tangled up in life...I wanted it to be the front and center.

Luckily, the way GES works, is we get to re-evaluate each year, as each contract is one school year, and it has always been an easy decision for me, to stay. Why? Because it was actually hard. It was the harder choice and I never even considered leaving because I knew I didn't want to leave on a hard note. It would have been so much easier to run away from my problems at the end of each year, but I would be leaving because it was hard. So I knew it meant I needed to stay that God was not yet done.

But this year has been a different story, ever since August, this year has just felt different. It felt good, it has been easy. To be honest, when I started to think about it I could see that this is the first year I could possibly be staying because it was easy. I have deep relationships, I can communicate in Thai, I have Thai friends who I love, my job is becoming more of what I love and less of the things I don't, I don't have bills to pay or have to worry about rent or really anything but the fun stuff, the weather doesn't even bother me in the slightest anymore...its all just really easy. 

So I knew it was time to actually think about the decision for next year early, to pray about it, to seek the Lord and His wisdom. What he revealed to me was not really what I wanted to hear. I wanted him to say, "stay Erin your work is not yet done here", but thats not what he's been saying. Instead, I could hear His still small voice prompting me that he had more in store for me if I take a leap of faith and go back. But wait a second, if I'm honest with myself...I don't really want more, I would be content to go on living this life in Thailand and sharing Jesus with people here and traveling the world in my free time. I don't want to start over, I don't want to find a new job, I don't really want to walk away from my relationships here. Leaving is actually the harder choice now, because staying would be so much easier. But thats just what I prayed for, since graduating college (like 6 years ago...gasp!), I have prayed that the Lord would protect me from becoming too complacent with life that I forget to live adventurously for Him. 

Some of you may be thinking, Erin, its way more adventurous to live in Thailand than it is in America...and you may be right to some extent but sometimes taking a chance pursuing your dreams is scarier than living on the other side of the world. Or sometimes being vulnerable and learning to let people in is more brave than getting in a taxi in a foreign place. Thats what I want to be...BRAVE and to live my life full of faith...and trusting God is always the greatest adventure.

So as I come to the beginning of the end of my time here, I am reflective and trying to savor every little last thing. I'm so thankful I still have 6 months left! I want to invest more fully into the relationships here, I want to love better and deeper, I want to experience more, I want to share more of Jesus, I want to take chances, I want to live it up and make the most of the end. 

I honestly don't know whats next. I don't really know much past this to be honest and I'm learning that's ok because I want to live every day here all in and not worry about what's next until it's staring me right in the face! 

Heres the thing though, I think God is calling some of you to take a leap of faith and follow him to something big and scary this year as well. Maybe he's calling you overseas, maybe he is calling you to start a church, go back to school, change your job, move to a new city...but I know one thing whatever it is, scary or exciting, big or small, its going to be good!

I didn't say its going to be easy...I said its going to be good and it is. God has his best for you in mind even if what he is calling you to ends up being the hardest season of your life...its for your good and I promise you on the other end of it you will just sit in awe of the Lord and his goodness in your life. 

That's where I am right now, sitting at his feet amazed at where he has brought me and all of a sudden all the pain makes sense, it has changed me, it has refined me, it has made me more like him and now I know in a whole new way that trusting Jesus with my life really is the greatest adventure. When the world crumbles around me, it doesn't matter because I have Jesus and I know now He really is all I need! 

So here's to big exciting changes for 2018 and 6 more months of this life in Thailand! I'm uncertain about what this year will hold but I'm filled with hope and excitement knowing that God is the one in the lead and I can't to see what he's got in store!