How to Get Your Kids to Actually Cooperate During a Family Photo Session
If I had a dollar for every parent who showed up to a session and said some version of "I have no idea how this is going to go, they were a disaster in the car," I would have a very full tip jar.
And almost every single time, the session was fine. Better than fine, actually. Because kids, even the wild ones, even the ones who just threw a full tantrum in the parking lot, have a way of rising to the moment when the pressure is off and things feel like play instead of performance.
That is the secret, really. But since you probably want more than one sentence to work with, here is the full honest guide I share with every family before their session.
Lower Your Expectations (Seriously)
The number one thing that makes a family session harder than it needs to be is a parent who needs it to go perfectly. Kids can feel that energy. When you are tense, they get tense. When you are watching their every move and mentally grading their performance, they shut down or act out.
The best family sessions I have ever photographed looked a little chaotic from the inside. Kids wandering off. Someone crying for five minutes in the middle. A toddler who refused to stand still for a single frame. And the galleries from those sessions were stunning, because I was not waiting for perfect. I was watching for real.
Give yourself permission for the session to be imperfect. You will be amazed how much that one shift changes the energy for everyone.
Do Not Hype It Up Too Much Beforehand
It is tempting to spend the week before a session telling your kids how important it is, how they need to be good, how this is a big deal. But the more you build it up, the more pressure everyone feels on the day.
Instead, keep it casual. Tell them you are going somewhere to take some pictures and then you are going to do something fun after. Keep the "something fun after" in your back pocket as a low-key motivator, not a bargaining chip. There is a difference between "we're going to get ice cream after pictures" said cheerfully versus "you'll only get ice cream if you cooperate," and kids know exactly which one they are hearing.
Time It Around Naps and Snacks
This sounds obvious but it is the most commonly skipped step. A hungry toddler and a tired preschooler are not going to cooperate for anyone, no matter how good the photographer is. Before you book, think honestly about when your kids are at their best. Morning kids do better in the morning. Late afternoon kids do better late afternoon. I will always help you figure out the best time of day for both the light and your family's energy, but you know your kids better than anyone.
On the day of the session, make sure everyone has eaten something real. Bring snacks. Bring more snacks than you think you need. I have never once been annoyed at a parent for producing a granola bar at a critical moment.
Photographer's note: I always build a little buffer into sessions specifically for the snack break, the shoe-tying pause, and the five minutes it takes for a shy kid to warm up to me. You do not need to rush any of that.
Let Me Be the Bad Guy
One of the most helpful things a parent can do during a session is take themselves out of the direction role and let me handle it. When mom or dad is the one saying "stand here, look there, stop doing that," kids push back the way kids push back on parents. It is just how it works.
When I make the same request, it is coming from someone new, someone who is not in their daily authority structure, and kids often respond completely differently. I have tricks. I have games. I have things I say to three-year-olds that work almost every time, and I will never tell you what they are because the magic evaporates if the kids know it is coming.
Your job during the session is to be warm, present, and relaxed. Let me worry about getting the shot.
Embrace the In-Between Moments
Some of the most beautiful images I have ever captured happened when a family stopped trying. A dad tossing his kid in the air because they were bored standing still. A mom laughing at something her toddler said. Siblings chasing each other between setups. The moment when everyone forgot they were being photographed and just existed together for a minute.
Those are the images that end up as the favorites in the gallery. Not the ones where everyone was perfectly lined up and looking at the camera. The ones that look like your actual life.
What About Babies and Newborns?
Babies operate on their own schedule, full stop. The best thing you can do for a newborn session is come fed, rested, and with zero agenda for how it goes. Newborns sleep, eat, need to be changed, and occasionally scream with no warning at all. This is completely normal and I have photographed through all of it. Plan for the session to take longer than you expect and do not book anything right after.
For babies in the four to ten month range, the key is capturing them in the environment where they feel most like themselves. Which is usually at home, which is exactly why our Saturday Morning Sessions were built for this stage of life.
What If It Really Does Fall Apart?
Sometimes it does. A nap gets skipped. Someone is cutting a tooth. The whole vibe is off from the start and nothing helps. It happens, and it is okay.
Even in those sessions, we get the images. They might look different than you planned. There might be more candid chaos and fewer posed smiles. But they will still be true. They will still be yours. And you will still look back at them years from now and remember exactly who your family was at that moment in time, loud and wild and completely, perfectly yours.
Ready to Book Your Session?
If you are a family in Greenville, Simpsonville, Greer, Easley, or the surrounding Upstate and you are ready to get everyone in the frame, I would love to be your photographer. I promise I have seen it all and I am not easily rattled by a three-year-old with opinions.
Erin Turner is a lifestyle family and newborn photographer based in Piedmont, SC, serving Greenville, Simpsonville, Greer, Easley, and the surrounding Upstate South Carolina area.