Do you ever feel like God is calling you to do something that you just don't think you can do? Have you ever felt so overwhelmed and under equipped that you just are constantly exhausted. It's too hard and you just want to give in, let your guard down, let satan win, because that feels easier?

Ok confession, that was me this last month. Im so tired, not physically but emotionally and spiritually. I know I should have been in the word more, but I just couldn't open my bible. I know I should have gone to bible study but I could talk myself out of it in a second. I know I should be intentional and vulnerable and connect with others but people make life so messy so shallow conversations feel safer.

I returned to Thailand after a spiritually refreshing and refilling summer, but I am sitting here now a month later amazed by how quickly I felt depleted.

Im thankful that I finally feel like Im coming out of the darkness, out of the storm, into the safety of the Lord. I took my eyes off of Jesus and felt lost, lonely, confused and frustrated but as soon as I decided to fix my eyes back on Him I feel more at peace, more alive, I have joy.

Things do not always go as planned, we don't always have good days, we have some pretty crappy ones. We don't always see the good when terrible things happen. But the Lord is constantly reminding me that he is good, his way is better, his goodness outweighs the lies of the enemy. It may not always feel good or make sense now...but as Lysa TerKeurst says in her new book "Uninvited" (which I highly recommend to anyone who has ever been hurt, rejected or lonely...it literally has been such a good life changing read for me so go ahead do yourself a favor and get it now!)

““What doesn’t feel good in my flesh won’t make sense in my flesh. But if I have the Holy Spirit in me, my spirit is different because God is there—His indwelling presence with me. He speaks comfort in the spirit. He reminds me He is right there with me in the spirit. Others might disappoint me and leave me...but God never will. Therefore, I have to keep my mind focused on what the Holy Spirit whispers, not what my flesh screams!””

— Lysa TerKeurst

I've been learning a lot, things are new, life is very different, but I am so thankful to be here, to be learning and loving and living life in Thailand!

Here are some little updates on my life in thai:

-I am teaching a class...yep you read that right...I'm a teacher! What? Surprise to me! I am teaching a yearbook class, but I actually see it more as a mentorship where I am teaching 4 high school students everything I know about photography and design and we are calling it yearbook! :) haha

-I am a part of the high school chapel team and it is a highlight of my week! yey for building relationships with high schoolers

-I am leading up Student Government with my friend James! we are kicking it off in September and are excited about this way to Shepard students in leadership!

-I am currently getting a new kitchen in my apartment after a few circumstances out of our control, but we are excited to have a new upgraded kitchen complete with an electric oven...watch out I may start cooking again! :) In the meantime, I'm a vagabond living with a friend, missing my bed! haha

-School is well underway and this upcoming week we have our staff retreat! I am excited to spend time together as a staff and have some fun outside of bangkok!

-I have discovered some good coffee spots and I'm super happy about it...I have to set my coffee budget and stick to it! Speaking of budgeting...Im gonna keep a better budget this year and Im excited about it, because saving money equals more opportunities to see the world! :

-I have a handful of new friends who just moved here and they are a huge blessing and a answer to my prayers! They also show me how far I have come and make me so thankful that I am not a "first year" anymore! They bring a new vibe to campus and its been really fun showing them around and doing life with them!

-I went to a Charlie Puth concert downtown a couple weekends ago and it was awesome! Thailand concerts are fun, we had a great time!

-I have been super busy but its worth it!