I Am Not Forsaken
When the things you've been praying for come true but you weren't really ready for it. That’s me all the time lately. I’ve been praying and praying for thing after thing, circumstances, dreams, people and then they come true in the most unexpected ways...it takes me by surprise. Then it hits me...and I just laugh at myself because it’s what I prayed for all along...why am I so surprised it’s happening?
This is me. I’ve been trying to figure out why I keep doing this. Why am I constantly surprised and unprepared for the very things I’m praying for to happen...
And I've decided I think it comes down to this lie I keep hidden deep inside of fear, that God doesn’t always care about what I care about, that He’s not actually for me, that’s He’s tired of me...
It’s so silly! I know it’s not true, but I’ve been realizing, more than ever, that I don’t always believe it. I don’t always trust him like I should...maybe I don’t really trust anyone all that much. But the more I let go and trust him the more he keeps showing up...it’s the craziest thing. I know he cares for me and when I get caught up in my own world and my own head and forget to fix my mind on His word and His truth, I completely forget!
Let me give you a real life example....This morning I prayed the prayer I have been praying since I knew that I was leaving...I asked God to help me not waste any of the days I had left but today I also prayed specifically that he would give me the opportunity to show His love to someone today.
Then literally an hour later the plans I had for myself and my day were disrupted. I was asked to cover someone's classes for the day. My initial reaction was frustration and stress. All of a sudden the plans I had for myself seemed like a lost cause and I immediately felt overwhelmed at all I needed to accomplish in the next month.
Then, it hit me. This is what I was asking for! This was my opportunity to not waste my days slaving away behind my computer trying to get things done that I want to get done, this was my opportunity to tell someone about Jesus.
I almost let this moment slip right past me because of my own selfish ambitions.
So many times I pray for the Lord to use me, to give me opportunities, but then those opportunities are almost always uncomfortable, outside of my own desires and I almost miss them every time. Every time! I'm actually not kidding.
I don't always see them because I'm not praying with expectation. I think I am. I feel like I am in the moment but then I go about my day and my life and forget the things I'm praying for...in the meantime God hasn't forgotten and he is working and moving all around me and so often I miss it.
How cool is that? That there is a God who cares enough about me to not let my prayers go unanswered. He cares about you too, and even when it feels like he's not there or he's not answering I can promise you one thing...He cares and He is working all around you! All around me!
He really is faithful and I'm not sure why I ever forget that. I don't know what you are praying for, but let's start praying with expectation and then don't forget. Be aware, be alert and don't let those little God moments slip by without noticing.
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Also, this song has been on repeat in my life lately. I play it over and over again while I eat my lunch every day. I play it in the silence of my apartment and at my desk. The words, are so true....they are becoming my new mantra.
““I am chosen, not forsaken
I am who you say I am!
You are for me, not against me
I am who you say I am!””
So many times I forget this truth. That I am chosen, that he is for me.
I am not forsaken...he's not going to leave me, He's for me...He's working all things for my good, for growth, and to bring me closer to him.
Even when its hard, its worth it.
Even when it seems hopeless, its worth it.
But I know that the things I am praying for, the leap of faith I am taking by moving back to the states, the moments of vulnerability, the words I get to share to these students, the way I spend my days...He cares...It's all a piece of his plan!
He has not forsaken me, or you...Let's not miss a moment of it because we are so consumed in ourselves. Let's keep praying and keep believing that He is moving and working all around us!